Naruto can Summon Pokemon? OH TEH NOES!
by Blue Phoenix135790
Summary: Another unoriginal one. Go figure. NarutoxHumanSpiritomb. ON HIATUS!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: The second… happy… thing. Yeah. Set in Chunin Exams Arc. (The part after the preliminaries, but before the whole "Jiraiya Incident.")

I OWN NOTHING!

"Come closer boy…" 'Yes, that's it, pull off the seal so that I can get the hell out of here!'

"_**STOP!**_" cried a voice that sounded like 108 voices merged together. "_**OMINOUS WIND!**_" A dark purple-ish wind blew on the cage, stopping Naruto from pulling off the seal and blowing him away from the cage.

"…What…What was that?" Naruto asked out of pure confusion. Suddenly, out of the shadows, (A/N: The best place to hide!) came a creature that looked strangely like a purple fan. In detail: it, or more precise, she, looked like a medium sized orb that looked like it was spinning in a counter-clockwise direction. Green-yellow orbs were traveling inside the thing in the opposite direction. It was, oddly, connected to a half-way broken keystone. The face was really weird: A child's version of an evil, scary face, except it only had one pupil: in her left eye, was a spiral.

"_**WE SHALL NOT LET YOU SUCCEED IN DUPING OUR MASTER!**_" A ball of black rings formed over her mouth. "_**DARK PULSE!**_" An endless wave of black circles sped towards Kyubi and hit him in the head, knocking him back.

She noticed Naruto, frozen in place, in a corner. "_**Come now, child. We think we let the anger of this old bug-**_" "OI" "_**Trying to take control of you get the best of us. Come. Let us go to a more…comfortable spot. But first, a change.**_" At the word change, She transformed into a woman who was 5"01', D-cup, with long purple hair that went down to her ankles. Green and yellow hair ornaments adorned her hair. Around her neck was a necklace with a charm that looked like the keystone. A tattered purple dress was all she wore. "**Our name is 'Spiritomb'. We are the ones who are supposed to give you your family summoning contract once we get to the proper room.**"

"HEY! GET BACK HERE, CRAZY MO-FO'S DO You know who I am? I am kyubi no kitsune, destroyer of dimensions! slayer of dragons! 1,000 time bowling champion! you can't just leave me. guys?"

"Are you really going to leave him?"

"**Yes. Yes we are.**"

"Is this the door?" Naruto asked, standing in front of a door that had a strange symbol, a small sphere that was red on the top and white on the bottom. When Spiritomb didn't answer, Naruto knew that it was the right door.

A/N: Another story done! And this one is another unoriginal story. I just want to say, YOU ARE AL AWESOME!

On a completely different note, I am having a poll on what Pokemon Naruto should be able to summon. There should be one for every type, so there should be 17 Pokemon available for summon. Rules are:

You may choose 1 Pokemon type to vote for in each review.

If a Pokemon is a duel-type, PLEASE choose one type. No voting for two types with the same Pokemon. Example: Houndoom

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT vote for Vulpix or Ninetails. Do you KNOW how much shit would hit the fan?

Author's votes count as 5! =D

I'M SLIM SHADY, YES I'M THE REAL SHADY!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm BAAAAAAAAACK!

Current poll answers:

Dark: Spiritomb (6)

Ice: Froslass (6)

Psychic: Jirachi (5)

Fire: Flareon/Infernape (1)

Fighting: Hitmontop (1)

Electric: Raikou (1)

Two reviews? Seriously? YOU PEOPLE SUCK!

I OWN NOTHING! Except a Sudoku book.

Story No Jutsu!

…

When Naruto opened the door, various _eyeless _bats flew at him at breakneck speed and presently disappeared. Naruto looked at Spiritomb, who shrugged and said, "**Don't look at us. They were here before us.**" Naruto looked confused, but eventually went through the door. In the middle of the, surprisingly dry, room (A/N: Remember, Naruto's mindscape is a sewer.) was a scroll. The design could have only been made by a wacko, because it hosted a drawing of four orbs, the symbol from the door, the same symbol, except it was blue and had two red stripes, another one that was black with an upside-down gold U-shape on the top, and, finally, a purple and white orb, with two purple glass (At least it looked like glass) circles jutting out and a small white M on it. As Naruto unfurled the scroll, there were more symbols, including a blue ball with a yellow X taking up most of the drawing, and an azure-topped ball with… Was that a _net_?

"**All you have to do is sign your name in blood. Then read the…You can't read the ancient language on the Unown, can you?**" Another confused look was an affirmative HELL NO. "**Alright, then, I'll read the instructions. The hand seals are…**" (A/N: By now, I trust that you know the hand seals for the Kuchiyose no Jutsu.)

=Meanwhile=

"AAARRRGGGHHH! WHERE IS THAT BASTARD?!!?!???!?!?!?!" Said a certain pink-haired banshee.

"Where is he, indeed." This was said by a chronically late scarecrow, who, ironically, was earlier than usual. "I say we go to his apartment and get him."

"But, Sensei, what if he's not at his apartment?"

"Than we check the other places."

"Okay!"

=Back at the ranch=

"**Okay, Naruto, listen up. There are exactly 493 Pokemon to be summoned. However, you can only summon 17, one for each type. Unfortunately, you have no say in what you can summon, as it is determined as soon as you are born. Now, the types are Blah Blah Blah Blah, Blah Blah, Blah Blah.**"

'Ugh, when will she stop so that I can eat ramen again?'

=Outside of the mind-sewer=

"Should we wake him up, Sensei?"

"Why not, Sakura? Go ahead, no ones stopping you." 'Please kill her in self-defense, Naruto. It'll give me one less problem.'

As soon as Sakura got close to Naruto, the aformented blond opened his eyes and began making the hand seals for the summoning technique, (Much to the surprise of Kakashi and a Hiruzen Sarutobi, who was stealthily watching with his telescope technique.) and put his hand on the ground.

A poof of smoke later, and there was…

…

A/N CLIFFIE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What did Naruto summon?!?!!? I need more poll votes for that. Contribute to the poll and get $10,000 in return! No, seriously, I need more votes!

Futures, made of, virtual insanity, now always, seem to, be governed by this love we have, for useless, twisting, of our new technology, oh, now there is no sound, for we all live undergound!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Yo. Despite lack of reviews-**Lazy ass bastards**-Shut up, Absol. Anyways, despite lack of reviews, I have decided to continue the story. The poll is officially closed now, but the votes I did get, I didn't even think of!

I OWN NOTHING!

…

=Last time=

…_Naruto put his hand on the ground. There was a puff of smoke, and…_

=Now=

…A blue-ish frog with a red sac under its mouth that expanded and deflated every so often appeared.

"_**Boy, who are you, why did you summon me, and…3 WHO IS THAT!??!?3**_" the frog thing said.

They followed the frog's line of sight, until they saw…SAKURA! (A/N: Betcha didn't see that comin' didcha?)

"Its just Sakura…" Kakashi stared.

"_**ARE YOU KIDDIN'!?!? IT'S A BEAUTY THAT ONLY COMES ALONG ONCE IN A MILLION YEARS!**_" Said the hopelessly love struck frog thing as he walked over to Sakura as he started to speak in ye olde tongue. "_**My bonnie sweet, please, forgive me for intruding upon thee, but I knew that one day, our lives would cross paths, my dear lady. But now, I only have one, aye, just one request of thee. Please, BEAR MY CHILDREN!**_"__

Now, Sakura was faced with a decision, either marry the frog thing, or punch the thing in the face and run the hell away. Before she was given the decision, however, the frog (A/N: It's Toxicroak. Couldn't you tell?) bit on her neck.

=Meanwhile, in Sakura's mind=

Inner Sakura Alpha was getting some coffee when an alarm sounded throughout the kitchen.

'ABORT! ABORT! POISON HICKEY PLACED UPON NECK! ALL INNERS TO STATIONS IMMEDIATELY! ABORT! ABORT!'

"Crap. INNERS BETA TO OMEGA! REPORT TO YOUR STATIONS IMMEDIATELY! I got me some poison to shoot." Said Inner Alpha as she pulled a cowboy hat and a rifle off a rack.

=Back in the real world=

"Is Sakura okay?" Kakashi asked a random nurse.

"Yes, Haruno-san is okay. We found an unknown poison in her blood stream, but we extracted it. She'll be fine in a few days. It's nice to see a sensei so concerned with his student."

"Huh? No, I just need a person to wail on."

=Three days later=

'I wonder how Sakura's doing. No one's given me a report on how she is.' Suddenly, Naruto herd the Mission: Impossible theme wafting through the air. 'What the hell is that?' Naruto followed the sound until he saw…Sakura, grappling on a rope, under the room Sasuke was supposed to be in. Naruto looked through the window and saw that the room was empty. Suddenly, Naruto had an idea. He sneaked up behind Sakura.

"Hi Sakura!"

"AAAAHHHHHHHH…FRESH!"

**Smack!**

"Oh. Hi Naruto! ^_^!"

**Smack!**

"I'm still mad at you."

"For what?!?!"

"For siccing your weird frog on me."

"First of all, I didn't know what the hell I was summoning. Second of all, it's not my fault that it likes you. Third of all, Sasuke isn't in his hospital room."

"?!!!?"

The expressions on Sakura and Naruto's were priceless:

Sakura's: 8(

Naruto's: *_*#

Suddenly, Sakura's 'angry' face turned into a 'happy' face. (A/N: Mood swing much?)

"teehee, I knew it! Sasuke-kun isn't the type of person to take things laying down…" And with that, Sakura stalked off in silence secretly conceding with herself. (A/N: Split personality much? =X)

'Odd. Very odd. But, to the hot springs to train!' (A/N: You can see where this is going, right?)

=Later, at the magical happy hot springs of certain doom (XD)=

Naruto was walking on the water, just as Ebisu taught him, when he heard a perverted giggle.

'What the hell? Giggling?'

He looked over to where the giggling was coming from, and saw a white haired man in a red traveling ninja kimono and a scroll on his back looking through a hole in the wall that led into the hot springs.

'Okay, I've seen people teleport, breathe fire, control water dragons with just simple motions of their hands, and control sand! Sand, of all things! But, I have never seen something so bizarre as this.' Suddenly, Naruto got an interesting idea. He made the necessary hand seals, and summoned up Spiritomb.

"**Hello, Naruto.**"

"Hey. I have this interesting idea."

"**Shoot.**"

"Alright, I'm going to use my _Oiroke no Jutsu _to transform myself into a girl. You can turn into a half-naked version of your human self, right?"

"…**Sure.**"

"Sweet."

Naruto and Spiri (**A/N: Blue Phoenix135790 is now calling Naruto's girlfriend Spiri. She has no relation to Spiri and Tomb from that other fanfic he started.**) turned into their respective versions, and started giggling for the man to hear. When he turned around, he saw two women passionately making out in a random puddle of mud in plain sight (A/N: O//////////////////////O). Jiraiya stared at the two before passing out from a nosebleed. Naruko and Spiri turned back to normal. (Well, Spiritomb turned into a clothed version of her human form.)

"…Hey, Spiritomb?"

"**Yes?**"

"Lets…" Naruto whispered his plan to Spiritomb. She (A/N: She? It? They? Hm.) grew a devilish grin.

_(Three hours later…)_

Jiraiya woke up and saw the hot springs upside-down and closer than usual. 'The Hell?' he thought before noticing the angry naked women.

The women then beat down the toad sage without mercy…In places. The duo that did it all laughed nearby.

"**Naruto?**"

"Yeah?"

"**We've been thinking. What if we and your other summons taught you our attacks?**"

"Really?"

"**Well, we would have to talk to your other summons, but it would probably work.**"

"Alright."

Spiritomb nodded, then poof-ed away. Good timing, because Jiraiya managed appeared behind Naruto.

"You were the one who tied me up, and hung me upside down in the women's hot spring?"

"Did you enjoy it?"

"A little."

"Then you're welcome."

Jiraiya sweat-dropped. He hadn't thought of it that way. Suddenly something clicked in his head.

'Blond hair. Blue eyes. Annoying as hell. Looking on the bright side of things. I found him.' Jiraiya thought. Then, he spoke. "Are you, by any chance, Naruto Nami- I mean, Uzumaki?"

Naruto was confused by the random topic change, but answered "Yes. He is I and I and He make Three." (**A/N The hell are you talking about?-**Just roll with it, Absol.)

Jiraiya was weirded out by this, but shook it off. "My name is…" Cue giant frog and ridiculous dance. "The spirit of Mount Myobokuzan, the carrier of the toad scroll, one of the three legendary sannin, Jiraiya, Toad Sage!" Everything disappeared. "And if you want, I can supervise your training."

Naruto thought it over. "Alright."

"Good." Jiraiya said. "Your first test is to summon a-"

"A summon? Sure." Said Naruto as he preformed the _Kuchiyose no Jutsu_. Toxicroak came up, saw there was no Sakura, and disappeared.

Jiraiya looked disappointed at the thought of the rigorous training that would have taken all month vanish like Gamabunta after seeing there was no sake, but shook it off quickly. "All right, let me teach you a jutsu that is completely different. It is called the Rasengan…"

…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNDDDD… SCENE!

Thank you for all the happy magical doom reviews! Cookies for all!

Anyways, if I start a new fanfic for TDI, would you guys read it? Only Eva and Ezekiel are the original contestants. Twenty-eight more arrive. That adds up to thirty. This one will have a song in every episode (Group of two or three chapters) and a lucky contestant will also die as a running gag (I named him James!). "NEW RECORD! James died three times in one episode!"

Ciao, Sayonara, Au Revoir, Adios, Auf Weiderstein, Anyankihaseyo, and all the rest!

(Italian, Japanese, French, Spanish, German, And Korean.)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: OMG I'M SO GLAD TO BE BACK ASDFLGHJKL!- **-_-'' From what? All you've done during your hiatus was read manga, watch OHSHC, and put your new Action Replay to interesting use. I wouldn't consider getting a shiny Regirock to level 100 through unlimited Rare Candies to be a good waste of time.- **Shut up, Absol. Or else I'll make you into a girl and put you into that fanfiction I've been thinking of~ **- O_o''' I'll be good.-** You better. Now, go read the disclaimer!

**"Blue Phoenix135790 does not own anything. Also, does anyone else notice that any fanfiction regarding the Uzumaki clan to be sealing experts and Naruto a descendant of Hashirama has been proven true in the manga? EPIC!" …Blue Phoenix, couldn't you have made this disclaimer with a spoiler alert?-**No.

xGxAxGxAx

Time passed fast amazingly quick during the month of training. During this time, Naruto had learned the first two steps to Rasengan, but was having difficulties with the final step.

Sakura was doing… Whatever pink-haired banshee-fangirls do.

Sasuke and Kakashi… Disappeared, but Kyuubi was betting that they died.

Hey, Bijou can dream, can't they?

Meanwhile, Naruto had found out three other summons besides Toxicroak and Spiritomb:

First, there was a little one that seemed like it was asleep. Then it woke up. It had a unnecessarily large head in the shape of a star with three tags hanging from his (At least it claimed it was a "he") head. It had a while body as well with a small slit on the stomach. "He" said that his name was Jirachi.

Next was another white-bodied Pokemon that went up to Naruto's neck. Of course, it only reached up to Jiraiya's hip, so this reminded Naruto about how short he was. It was obviously a girl, and had what appeared to be a white kimono with blue wave designs for a body. She had an ovular head with two crystalline spikes protruding out of her head, and purple skin. She said her name was Froslass, but Naruto insisted on calling her "Haku".

Last was one that sort of scared Naruto: A floating shell with a white halo floating over it. It had a brown shell with what appeared to be grey skin (Akin to a dead person) under the shell. It also spoke emptily, as if it had absolutely no life, and that made it hard to determine a gender. It called itself Shedinja sometimes. And Nukenin other times. Naruto preferred Nukenin, thank you very much.

Spiritomb had returned with sort of good news: Naruto was able to use Pokemon attacks, as long as he had met and pleased the Boss. Naruto was disheartened for a second, but then uplifted, and began training so that he would be able to use the attacks that he had seen his summons use. For example, he had seen Haku get annoyed at Nukenin's lack of emotion and tried to hit it with a fist encoated in ice. Only for it to pass through and for Nukenin to shoot a ball of… Something at Haku, knocking her down for the count.

Just imagine Naruto being able to do that…

I bet half of you can't. As that mouse from Narnia would say, "YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO IMAGINATION!"

Where was I?

Oh yeah!

So, long story short, Naruto had five summons, he could use a Lv2 Rasengan, and he knew Water-Walking. Like Jesus. Which probably means that Jesus was a Ninja.

Go figure.

(A/N: Shut up.)

Anyways, the big day had arrived, and after an uplifting pep talk from Hinata (Who was wearing a powder-blue hospital uniform), and being chased through the red-light district of Konoha by Konohamaru, Naruto was in the arena, standing next to Neji Hyuuga, his opponent, and Temari of Sunagakure. Looking bored and anxious, respectively.

Anyways, after a speech from the Hokage ("_Senile old fart" _Kyuubi had said), It was Naruto and Neji's fight already.

xGxAxGxAx

It was like watching a bad movie over and over again. You know what's going on, when it's going to happen, who's going to do it, and you're bored out of your mind just watching, and you just want to go home, have a bottle of sake, get good and plastered, curse some dead person for some odd piece of bad…Something, and then fall asleep in the middle of the street and awake the next morning with tire tracks on your chest.

Except this bad movie was getting better.

After the Hyuuga had started defending with a Main Family technique (To the shock of all the Hyuugas), Naruto had attacked with a sort of spiraling sphere towards the defense, and instead of the shield knocking the pariah back, it…

What's the word?

…Exploded.

Like, boom.

Big boom.

Anyways, Neji looked worn out from chakra depletion, but Naruto barely looked scratched. A quick scan with the Byakugan, a consumption of a soldier pill, and a few Juuken strikes later, and that was fixed.

But then, Naruto unblocked his sealed Tenketsu using an odd red chakra, and they were back to square one as the chakra receded.

And then Naruto had asked Neji about his treatment of Hinata during the Preliminaries.

And then we were pulled into a long flashback detailing Hinata's capture by Kumogakure, the sordid tale of the Cursed Bird Seal, the Hiashi-Hizashi drama, and why it was fate for Hizashi to die, and blah, blah, blah.

Naruto then said something about his seal being just as bad, and had summoned forth Jirachi.

Cue the squeeing of the female (and some male) population watching the match.

Anyways, Jirachi just floated there, asleep, then he woke up, glowed with a grey-silver light, tackled into Neji, _exploded,_ and fell asleep as he puffed out of existence.

Naruto was declared the winner, due to Neji being knocked out by the sheer amount of energy being knocked into him.

And the matches continued, with Kankuro giving up, Sasuke being given a time extension, and Shikamaru giving up halfway through the match.

Then Sasuke got there with a flashy entrance.

And the final match of round one began.

xGxAxGxAx

Damn him. Damn the Uchihas, Orochimaru, the Suna nin, and everyone else who this fault was.

Nevermind the fact that, if you went far back enough, the Land of Wind's daimyo and Hashirama Senju were also to blame.

As soon as Sasuke had thrusted his lightning-covered arm into Gaara's sand shield, the Hokage's box exploded, everyone fell asleep due to a large-scale Genjutsu, and Gaara had disappeared with his siblings with Sasuke in hot pursuit.

And Naruto had said the first bit of dialogue in this entire chapter.

"The hell is going on?"

xGxAxGxAx

A/N: Alright, before you go all postal about me skipping over most of the dialogue, I'm lazy, I typed this in a single day, I'm a teen, what can you say?-**Well… there's also the factors of…**- Absol, If you don't want to have boobs and be chasing after a confused girly-boy Sneasel, I suggest you stop right there.-**…**-Perfect.~

Confused? YOU SHOULD BE! Anyways, the official ones are:

Dark: Spiritomb

Ghost: Shedinja

Ice: Froslass

Poison: Toxicroak

Psychic: Jirachi

And in the polls, we have:

Fire: Flareon (1) / Infernape (2)

Fighting: Hitmontop (1) / Machamp (1)

Electric: Raikou (1) / Zapdos (1)

Flying: Ninjask (1) / Swellow (1) / Staraptor (1)

Bug: Armaldo (1)

Rock: Golem (1) / Regirock (1)

Steel: Lucario (1) / Scizor (1)

Grass: Leafeon (1) / Roserade (1) / Sceptile (1)

Ground: Gliscor (1)

Normal: Porygon-Z (1) / Regigigas (1) / Snorlax (1)

Water: Manaphy (1) / Lugia (I'm not counting this one, as he isn't even a Water type. :P)

Dragon: Garchomp (1) / Rayquaza (1)

Please, vote! Remember, any and all votes that have Vulpix and Ninetales will be disregarded! Why? …Why beat a dead horse?

You may suggest your own, or you may vote on those chosen.

Review!

I'm so, Starstruck~  
Baby, cause you blow my heart up~


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